he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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