That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize