...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
