she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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