I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
