Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
