my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
