my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
