The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
