can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
