we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
