You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
