Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
