i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
