That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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