I need help removing her.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
