I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
