I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
