I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
