its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
