actually, I'm a sock model
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
