So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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