Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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