I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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