Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We're too hungover to prance.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize