My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
