anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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