Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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