Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will be naked everywhere
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your penis caused this!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
