If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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