you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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