No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
