Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
