i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He better not be in your backpack
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
