Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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