we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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