I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
