i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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