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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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• (310): View more from California

  He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick

  (216): View more from Ohio

  In a very non respectful way

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like

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• (858): View more from California

  i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  its liver damage thursday

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