she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
