You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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