You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize