Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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