hotel room ftw
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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