College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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