lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
