I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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