I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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