i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
