You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
