Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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