hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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