Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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