So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
