I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
