the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
how do you say âi know we havenât hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other dayâ without coming on too strong
He wouldnât know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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