I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
