Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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