did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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