No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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