Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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