If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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