Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
