i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
