why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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