She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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