East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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