After last night, I could never be a politician.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
