Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
