thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
