Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
