that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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