My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
