I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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