What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
