it was like his penis was on wheels.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize