1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
