I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
