Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
