They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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