Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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